The situation is well known by all human beings these days: Feeling totally exhausted, left with huge amount of problems (what are perceived as challenges as soon as we feel better) and being absolutely unmotivated. This is a clear sign that your life is not well balanced in that moment. In such moment one has obviously focused too strong on only one thing or one area in life before. It is like you have been isolated from every other thing and situation that was around you, too. You haven’t been able to recognize that there are other things in life that are important and that would even be helping you more than the one you were focusing on. Now, having ended up at this point it is very important to get back the balance.
There is somewhat of a natural reaction to that situation: Escape! Because your focus on that particular situation was so strong, there was a ‘Big Power’, a ‘Big Force‘ that made you reaching that level of focus. That Force has been very strong on the one hand site but also has cost you a lot of energy. Why? Because you didn’t really want that Force to step in and to help you focusing on that particular situation. This Force has been generated ‚Extrinsically‘, not by and out of yourself but by and out of a situation and motivation from your outside world.
Generally, in Psychology there is a distinction between an ‚Intrinsic‘ and an ‚Extrinsic‘ motivation. An ‚Intrinsic‘ motivation comes out of yourself. There is something that motivates you so strongly to do something because you really, really love to do that and it doesn’t cost you any effort doing it but also will result in a great accomplishment. This has to do with ‚Passion‘ that you have for some things. Those things you could do all day long and you would never think to differentiate between work and private. It’s your Life! Hence, the ‚Intrinsic‘ motivation is extremely sustainable and will hardly stop.
An ‚Extrinsic‘ motivation is something that comes from the outside world. It does not necessarily cost you an effort in the beginning but that will change throughout the course of the process. Motivated behavior will turn into unmotivated behavior. Whatever it is that motivates you to do something, it isn’t strong enough to keep you doing what you’re doing for it. A very common example is ‚Money’. If you have a job because you decided that you need to have a job, then you will be starting to do that job very well, motivated and with fun – for a while. At some point in time you’re experiencing that the level of motivation and fun will decrease and the quality follows swiftly. At this point you either will start looking for a new job or going to your boss complaining about the work environment, the circumstances or your salary. The result of that will be you either quitting your job and start another one in a new environment, with new tasks and a better package and a higher salary – which motivates again for while as new things in the outside will always do. Or you have a good conversation with your boss who gives more responsibility and a better salary – because also this motivates for a certain period until it will let you ending in the same situation again.
Let’s imagine you’re running through that cycle a couple of times then there is no other chance to end up you feeling totally exhausted, left with a huge amount of problems and being absolutely unmotivated. Even worse you have to be careful to not ending up seriously sick. In the todays world we all know ‚Burn-Out‘ phenomenon and thinking the cycle further as described before, it’s not a big thing to get there. And this is a ‚Big Risk‘ for your entire life!
But how to avoid that? Well, the best thing is to only doing the things you love to do and I absolutely support the statement that this is what Life should be! However, it is not always possible and realistic and not everybody has either the material or non-material foundations to achieve that – this is another topic that must be looked at separately. But there’re other ways to avoid this deep frustrations and desperation. And those can be achieved by everybody.
Everybody has a ‚Passion‘, something that really gets the fun out of him or her. In my case it’s skiing. Skiing is my passion and even though I live quite far away from the mountains I’ll try to ski as often as possible. However, independent from how often I can go skiing I always have the same experience. When I’m on my skies up in the mountain, fantastic snow around me in a great resort I do feel extremely happy first. I love that environment and that moment and would love to keep that moment forever. That feeling is very special. It gives me a very special feeling of silence, peace, joy, happiness, warmness and satisfaction. And I’m retaining that moment and the feeling in it – because this is what I will remember and use later on. I say to myself: „Wow, I feel so good!“
The next level comes when I start skiing. Skiing requires your 100% attention. There is no chance to think about other things – also not the ones bothering you – without you failing to ski. In a positive way skiing forces you to be ’In That Moment’ for 100%. And as all the other thoughts and problems are linked to either past experiences or future expectations, you won’t be able to think of them. This is an important understanding you must have: Your problems are a creation of your thoughts. Your thoughts are usually about the ‚Past‘ or the ‚Future‘. A bad feeling is either a memory of a bad experience in the past or a worry that you expect to come up in the future. Hence, it is important to stay, live and think in the ‚Now‘! Many people can’t practice this because of their routines that have been developed and manifested over the years. But one way to enable yourself doing that is to do frequently something that only allows you to be in the ‚Now‘. That’s what skiing is for me – apart form the joy, fun and passion I perceive with it and also in the meantime I found other options.
Well, getting back to the initial problem of being exhausted, having tons of problems and feeling unmotivated that all means it is important to frequently re-focus and doing different things in order to find your balance. Do not 100% focus on what your job requires you to do, or your family is expecting from you and allow yourself frequently some time to do a thing you really love and enjoy and that requires your full attention. That will help you to get your (bad) thoughts out of your brain and finally helps you to get balanced!
Plenty of things mentioned before are worth to be researched separately which I will likely do in the near future. However, I hope I could carry over the concept of getting balanced or even better ‚To Stay Balanced‘.